was that really a date?

I’ve got to quit doing this. Again it’s been a week since my last entry and I don’t feel good about it. The week has been crazy though but that is excuse.

Had a great weekend though. Some friends were in town from Atlanta that I haven’t seen since my move. So we ended up going out for sushi with Tricia, the boys Brian and Colin, and their wives, Kristin and Erika. The sushi was awesome and we had a great conversation. I had told Tricia how cute these straight boys were and how nice they are and she definitely concurred.

On Saturday I went to breakfast with Tony as Damon had to work. We met Tricia at the Abbey for food and mimosa’s. Tony and I proceeded to do a little window shopping, which is all it amounted to because I couldn’t find anything and he’s not supposed to be shopping. We had a great time. He is such a crackup. I had a date that night that I was all excited for and was trying to find a shirt to wear but to no avail. Tony dropped me off and I did a few chores around the house and then got ready for my date. Now I’ve been thinking about this guy for awhile now and can’t seem to get him out of my head. Mr. Doggy Day Care (DDC) himself. For those that might not know the stats are 6’5”, light brown curly hair, a nice strong athletic body, not a great ass but it will do. He used to be a track star in college and is a cyclist. So anyway I pick him up and actually brought him a pair of shoes from my company which he immediately put on and decided to wear that evening. His outfit wasn’t to die for but he’s so damn handsome I figure I can work on that later.

So we head out to the party with him following me. Ok, that was my first mistake. Anyway, we get to the party and I introduce him around. Meredy and Fritz have thrown a great holiday party. Great food, interesting guests, and plenty to drink. So DDC hangs out for quite awhile but he had mentioned he couldn’t stay very late because he gets tired early. Ok second mistake. So he decides to leave, I walk him out and get a little smooch but not what I was hoping for. We talked briefly about his status and that he is not looking for boyfriend just looking for hookups at the moment. Ok third mistake. Why do I put myself through this shit. I’ve decided that I need to just let him know how I feel and see what he says. Hell I’m getting to old to bullshit and it’s doing me no good at all. To be honest I thought once I came out my life would change. I haven’t been out all that long, and yes I know my friends have always known, but people have to do things in their own time and it took me a little bit longer. Another story another entry. But I have decided to just come clean with him and see what he says. If for nothing else I would have met a great guy who’s a great friend and just leave it at that.

So he left the party at 11pm and I stayed until 3:30am. I had a blast and the whole gang was there. I’d love to list them but there was just too many of them. Anyway, I have to give a shout out to both Bora and Jenny Lin for showing up late and staying even later. You both rock! Sunday came and I was very hung over and decided to lay on the couch and chill.

home sick

i'm home sick. not homesick, just at home and feeling sick. our company sales meeting started last thursday through sunday and i think i'm just spent. after getting everything ready and checking it a million times, this is one party i wish i could've missed. first we had to show up bright and early to put binders together. now this is supposed to be a team effort type deal and of course the "usuals" were late. by "usuals" i mean, they usually drive you nuts because they don't do a damn thing. show up late, and then take their sweet time to get started. so we're trying to get the sales binders together. basically, the catalogs, updates, etc etc etc, are placed on six foot tables in the order that they are to be put in the binder. you take one from each stack in correct order and then place in front of the three ring binder folks for them to place in the binders. so this one jackass that doesn't do a damn thing at work anyway shows up late and starts fiddling with his ipod. after he gets just the right tune he decides to look through the catalog. this would be fine if nothing was going on, but he's doing all of this right in the way of those of us trying to finish this damn project. finally he gets into the line to help, but he's moving so slow people start passing him. i swear, i wish i would've smacked him in his head and said wake the fuck up. but aside from jackass we finished the binders and proceeded to the next step.

now mind you, i've been preparing for weeks for this meeting. i also had to give 8 presentations. 2 the first night and 6 more the next day. the first one didn't go so hot, as i was handed the info that i was to speak on the day before. it wasn't that it was bad or anything, i just didn't give it the wow factor because i wasn't as familiar with the product yet. but my next one was great, or so i was told. i was funny, witty, and knowledgeable. thank the lord because i don't know if i could've handled another flop. the next day i had to give the same presentation over and over 6 times, which went very well but giving the same presentation 6 times gets a little stale. and throughout this entire process i had to wine and dine the sales group each night and meet with them at breakfast and lunch as well. now i don't mind the wining and dining part usually but when you have to present and be at the top of your game, the wining part is not so good. i did survive however and i think they are please with my performance and view of the future.

but now i'm home sick for the second day with a chest cold and sore throat, and run down and trying to work from home. i think it's time for a little nap.

highlights of a very long weekend

friday was spent lounging around with Tina, Tricia, Damon, and Tony, and Grachie eating leftovers and watching movies all day long. watched "war of the worlds", let's me just say this, dakota fanning, i'm done with you, tom cruise, been done with you, and spielberg, i'll let this one slide.

saturday on the other was another story. Tony and Damon came over early to escape the housekeeper. but they didn't show up alone, they brought Max a few play dates which included, Paco, Rocky, Charlie, and Phoebe, their four little furry friends. Max was in heaven. We decided to take them all to the dog park and let them run loose. I think they had a ball. Tony and Damon had a who throws more like a girl contest, and I think Tony won!

we ended up heading over to the boys house to hang out and have mimosa's. here we go again. Grachie was there, and her new little niece Fiona made an appearance. What a cutie. we decide to hit some crazy ass gay bar in Pasadena call Encounter. we definitely took the place over. when we walked in the door there were only about five people in the entire place. three elder queens and a brotha reading magazines and newspapers and a very butch lesbian named Michelle, who looked as if she had just walked off the court of an WNBA game. quick sidebar. Tony had been giving Damon shit for wearing his mexican pancho and wanted him to change before we left the house. Tony said it made him look like a lesbian. so when we walked into the bar, Michelle says to Damon that she really liked his pancho. we all just busted out laughing, it was the funniest damn thing i've seen in a long long time. we proceeded to to jaeger shots and hit the patio with our drinks. Michelle ended up joining us and was a riot. Shay and Carletta showed up to join us, followed by Tricia and Tina. we got our drink on and then headed back to Grachie's so that she could get ready for us to head to Long Beach. we met Sonja and Crash at some bar to listen to a band and then headed to another spot where the second funniest thing happened. Grachie ran into a guy she had briefly dated who had the gall to ask her if she wanted to date again. wrong move Johnny. Grachie read him the riot act. he'd done some pretty lame things when they were seeing each other so she read him a laundry list or reasons why she would never date him again. which brings us to the third funniest moment of the night. he actually extended his fist towards her in a what's up bro style and said it was cool. go Grachie go. the next bar was much better and we bellied up and had a few more drinks. after leaving this bar to find some after ours we are walking down the street and Tricia has gone to another world. she's dancing around the street singing at the top of her lungs, twirling around with her top falling off over her shoulders, at which time she finds this boom box in the shrubs which she places on her shoulders and proceeds to sing Sir Mix A Lot tunes. dying i tell ya, dying. where is the video camera when you need one?

holiday recap

Tuesday I had to go visit a vendor to make sure my samples are ready for the sales meeting that starts on the 1st. I really think I’ve scared this guy because he’s not as confident as he was when I first met him after starting this job. It might also be that I ask a lot of questions and expect a lot from my vendors in return, but damn. How many times to I have to repeat myself or give you the information in hard copy form for you to get what I want? I swear I’m about to lose it with this guy, he’s really nice, but the nice is wearing thin very quickly. So I drive to his office and meet my assistant there who by the way picked me up a large coffee with cream, and brought a box of donuts for me and the screening crew. What a sweetie. Anyway, since I drove in that day I was praying for some kind of luck when it came to driving home. Ya see, I was cooking for 10 people on Thursday and I still hadn’t purchase my bird yet. So after going to the vendors, driving back to work and then trying to get out of there at a reasonable time to get to the store, just wasn’t in the cards for me. It took me over 2 ½ hours to get home. I then hit the grocery store(s) to pick up the things I needed. When home, unloaded the groceries, made something to eat, and hit the sack. I will say this, I did find a fresh 24 lb turkey that I didn’t have to wait until the next week to thaw out. I strongly recommend this route.

Wednesday we were supposed to have a short day so I decided to go in at 10am and then leave at 3pm when the office closed. So I work my ass off trying to get ready for this sales meeting and get out of the office right at 3pm. Of course there was still some shopping and cooking to do when I got home so I’m praying that the traffic from the night before is not going to haunt me this evening. Are you kidding me? Another 2 ½ hours sitting on that damn freeway creepin’ along. I get to the store, pick up my last minute items and head home to start the cooking. So that I wouldn’t have anything to do but throw that bird in the oven in the morning, I whipped up my famous mac and cheese, and the stuffing/dressing, and had a glass or two of wine. What a clever idea. I can remember the days of my mom busting her ass the night before and me along with her making pies and sides for the next day. Another good nights rest is needed so I hit the sack.

Thursday I get up and start cleaning the house. Since I get up so early it’s really hard to sleep in when I finally have a day off. This of course was typical. I awoke way too early. I let Max out and tried to catch a few more zzzzz’s. After tossing and turning I decide it’s time to get up, 7am is going to be as late as I can go. Much better than 5am though. So I get to cleaning and pretty much whip things into shape. At about 9:30am I decide I’d better start getting ol’ Tom ready for the oven. I get him all washed up, and start stuffing little things into his belly, an onion, some stalks of celery, and cloves of garlic. I whip up a little rub and baste him in a little butter and then spread the rub all over him. And then I get out my most favorite trick, the oven cooking bag. Now I remember my mother getting up at the crack of dawn to get the turkey in the oven so that I would be ready by the time we were ready to eat at like 2pm. Those days are over. For that big ass bird it was only going to take almost 3 1/2 hours which fit my dinner schedule perfectly. I shoved him in the bag, put him in the roasting pan (thank the lord I found a large enough one), and put ol’ Tom in the oven. When he was finished, I took him out and placed the side dishes in the oven for their time. Folks started arriving at about 2pm and we had a cocktail or two and had some apps. Now the thing that I loved about this dinner is that everyone brought a side dish that they love. We had corn, cornbread, green bean casserole, some broccoli casserole, chipotle carrots (kick ass hot but really good), sweet potato soufflé, stuffing, mac and cheese, and my Tom turkey. Let me just say, Tom was grubbin’. Everyone couldn’t believe how moist he was. And to my surprise, the gravy turned out pretty good as well (I always freak out about the gravy). Attendees were, Tricia, Zsuzsa, Bora, Steve, Laurie Beth, Tina, Paige, Angela, Brian (doggie day care crush), and myself. I think the girls were surprised at how damn fine doggie day care was. OMG, I’m just glad he was able to make it. I think they were all beginning to think I had made him up. I got a little hello smooch, and an even better goodbye one. Brian brought a frozen shot concoction and had everyone doing shots of vodka and pep schnapps. So of course he was a hit. Anyway the dinner was amazing and we had a great evening. Can’t wait until next year.

sunday brunch to die for

i can't tell you how much i love to have sunday brunch and get a little party on. this one goes down in history. so Grach and i head over to Tony and Damon's for some grubbin' food and a mimosa. i brought over 2 bottles of champagne and a gallon of orange juice. the breakfast was great, Damon's scrambled egg concoction, bacon, sausage, potatoes, and toast. we cracked the champagne and the day began. now mind you the brunch started at about 10am. after the first 2 bottles were gone, Tony and i headed to the store and picked up 3 more bottles. while at the store my phone was blowing up, Tricia was trying to reach me. i call her and invite her and Zsuzsa over for a little party. now it's one. the girls show up with 4 more bottles of champagne and we proceed to drink them as well. now we're up to 9 bottles gone. Zsuzsa and i head back to the store for 3 more bottles. what, are you kidding me at this point. the funny thing is we are having a ball and no one is really messed up, just happy. we have a little dinner and then decide to give the boys their house back. the girls get this hair brained idea to hit The Cave. i decide that it's 6:30pm on a sunday and my ass is through, i head for home.

let's just say the interesting phone calls i receive the next morning still have me rollin'. evidently the girls went to The Cave, and stayed there until 3am. the stories will go down in history. my question is this, does the cave have a lost and found? if they do, please look for a shoe, a wallet, and a tank top.

but i tell ya, there ain't (oh yes i said ain't) nothin' like a sunday afternoon soiree. can't wait for the next one.

don't whore me out!

saturday night was completely out of f'in control. it started with Tricia and i meeting Steph at a little cantina in West Hollywood for 2 for 1 cocktails. now mind you we got there at like 5:30pm, and just let it flow. we chatted and checked out the boys and drank way too much. after we had been there for several hours Mer called and told us to meet them at the bowling alley Lucky Strike. Don't know what we were thinking but we headed over and actually started bowling. let's just say bowling when you've been seriously drinking all night is not the best thing to do. concentration levels were at a minimum to say the least. but we muddled on through. i was actually doing fairly well and i believe was winning before we called it quits and left. a bunch of us headed over to Tricia's to continue partying. the afterparty continued until way too late. i think i finally crashed at about 5:30am which was tough because of my get up schedule. so i only got a few hours of sleep and felt like abosolute shit later that day.

so i'm home laying on the couch nursing my incredible hangover when Tony gives me a ring and informs me that we are going to a tea dance and i need to be ready in 15 mins. are you kidding me, i can barely move. he informs me that he is bound and determined to find me a man and that i had better be over to his house in 15. so what do i do? jump my happy ass in the shower and get over to their house. i look and feel like crap and can barely function but i'm ret to go. Grachie comes home and we swindle her into going with us. so we get to the bar and it's a little scary. it's not like the tea dances i'm used to in atlanta. but there are a few cute guys there so i'm bound to make the most of it. then here comes Tony. just chattin' up a storm with everyone around us. he introduces me to this cute guy that's standing behind me and we shake hands. now i know it's been awhile but i like to move a little slower when meeting possible dates. Tony on the other hand chats for about a minute and then busts out with a "so you want him to take you home and fuck?" are you kdding me, we just met, litterally just met, can i get a gander before you throw me to the wolves. now this guy was cute but he was also a little to queenie for my taste. we chatted for a bit and then he said he needed to go. no shit you need to go. but ya gotta love a friend that tries to whore you out to the first one who comes along. i still have mad love for ya TC!

derailed was decast

i was so excited to see the movie derailed. i am completely and absolutely in love with clive owen i can hardly stand it. and i love me some jennifer anniston. i've seen every one of her movies and thought she did a great job in each of them until this one. first of all the chemistry between the two was a little off. JT picked up on it right away in the first scene of them together. the movie was a pretty serious drama and throughout the entire movie jennifer kept smirking. it looked as if she was going to burst into laughter at any moment. it just wasn't right for this film. but definitely have to say that clive is one sexy mofo, and a great actor in my opinion. damn!!!!!

a funny thing happened....

...on the way to work. my assistant and i were on our way to a trade show in palm springs. she had just purchased a new saab conv. so of course i made her drive. so we're chattin' and listening to music when she becomes really serious. she turns down the music and gets real quiet. then she says she needs to talk to me. so now i'm getting worried thinking she doesn't like her job or has found another one. she tells me that she really likes me and feels that we get along very well. that she loves her job and working with me but feels she needs to be honest with me. now i'm really freaking out. then she says that this is really hard to do but she want me to know that, are you ready for this, she's gay! all i could say was, omg so am i. we couldn't get enough of each other the rest of the day. we kept interrupting each others stories, and were trying to explain things we had said earlier to each other. it was a riot. i will say though, it's really nice to know i have someone i can talk to at work and not feel like i have to watch what i say. and i know she is happy. it's really strange that we both happen to be gay in such an old boys industry, but i also think that it's amazing! ya just never know.

So I had the perfect weekend

Friday night I went over to the Boys’ house, Tony and Damon, with Grachie and had an incredible meal and great wine. Those boys sure know how to do a guest up right. Tony made ravioli, one stuffed with eggplant (not my favorite), and the other stuffed with some kind of meat. Whatever it was it was both were slammin’. The lobster alfredo sauce topped it off. He then garnished the plate with shrimp kabobs and sliced tomatoes. We drank wine and chatted. The thing I love about the boys is their hospitality, but when they get tired and the night is over you know when to say your goodbye. Once Tony starts yawning I figure you’ve got about 15 mins to get your drink finished, get your coat, give them a quick hug and hit the door. Most would think that it is rude but I’ve kind of grown accustomed to this behavior. Hell, after getting up so early all week I know exactly where they are coming from. The funny thing was I had other plans anyway so this was perfect. My really good friend Andy was visiting from Portland and I was off to spend the rest of the evening with he and Tricia. Andy was in town to see his middle son participate in some sort of military commencement ceremony in San Diego and decided to stay in LA for the rest of the weekend. Andy is one of my most favorite friends to hang with. One of the nicest guys I’ve ever met, and we just click. The thing I love most about him are the conversations we have. They’re always interesting and he always has a great perspective on life and his friendships. Andy, Tricia and I sat up until the wee hours trying to make sense of our lives, and everyone around us. You would’ve thought we had been commissioned to solve the problems of the world. I guess that’s what a few, very heavy on the few cocktails of vodka and cran-raspberry will do to ya. I had to stay the night and ended up leaving in the morning.

Saturday was to be a big day/night and it didn’t disappoint. I had turned 39 on Wednesday and tonight a small group of friends were taking me out to celebrate. We were to meet at Casey’s Irish Pub downtown at 7pm. I get there at about 7:15 and of course I was the first to arrive for my own damn party. Actually it was ok; you just don’t want to be the first one there. I settled up to the bar and ordered a pint of Boddingtons (if you’ve never had this beer run don’t walk to your favorite bar and try this one, you can thank me later) and tuned into the USC/Stanford game. What a complete ass kickin’ Stanford received by the way. Anyway, the bar is owned by a friend of Grachie’s and it’s really cool. Has kind of a NYC feel to it. It’s below street level with a great patio and the inside is amazing. Dark wood carved into pillars and coves with a long bar and plenty of flat screens in which to watch the games. And to top it off there were some very hot guys in there as well. All of them straight no doubt but still hot, and if I had to be there alone I figured I could check out the eye candy for awhile while trying to act like I was really watching the game.

So Grachie is the first to arrive and she saddles up next to me at the bar, and then LB (new BFF) shows up. Grachie of course wants to move a little closer to where the action is since I had been sitting down towards the end of the bar. I try to explain that the seats were filled when I got there but I don’t think she was buying it. So we pick up our glasses and move down a little. Grachie ends up sitting next to a hottie named Charlie and in no time at all they are chattin’ it up like crazy. Steph shows up and brings me a bottle of my new favorite wine Le Crema which is a pinot, and if you haven’t tried this I suggest you also run not walk and pick up a bottle. Meredy and Fritz are next followed by Tricia, Andy, and Zsuzsa, and Tom a short while later. Mer and Fritz bought me an amazing deep fryer for by famous fried chicken which I’m very excited about. Looks like I might have to bust it out this weekend for a little trial run. We are drinking up a storm and acting like crazy fools. Mer is recognized in the bathroom by some Bachelorette fan while she is in the stall, and Steph ends up trying to organize some sort of pay for used toilette tissue. Grachie’s new beau Charlie has now joined our table and everyone is thinking he is someone she met online, when in fact she’s just met him a short time ago while bellied up to the bar. They’ve exchanged phone numbers so we’ll see what happens with ol’ Charlie. The rest of the night consisted of Fritz meeting some new friends at the bar and doing way too many shots.

After we left the bar we tried to go eat at the suggestion of Grachie, at some dining car place just west of downtown. We get there, valet park, get seated, look at the menu, talk amongst ourselves, and decide to get up and walk. Why you ask? Maybe because the cheapest steak in the house was $40, and being drunk and hungry does not a $40 steak make. Grachie had been to this place before but doesn’t think she was paying so she had no idea about the prices. We laughed and probably were a little embarrassed but I look at it this way, unless I go back to that restaurant I’ll never see those people again. And if I do, so the fuck what, I wasn’t in the mood to shell out $75 for the munchies. My QP with C did me just fine. That’s quarter pounder with cheese for those that are wondering. Whipped through that drive thru around the corner from my house and enjoyed my burger in the comforts of my own home.

Got up Sunday morning and headed to the Tonglisle’s for a little mini chili cook off. Evidently there had been a little smack talkin’ about my chili being better than yours. So JT, JG, and Brit decided to whip it up and let a small group of judges make the call. To be honest they were all really good. Not that I was surprised after all the smack but I was actually quite impressed with all of them. They all had their own flavor and secret ingredients. We hung out for awhile and then I headed over to Fritz and Mer’s to visit and have taco night. The tacos were great, and it gave me another chance to hang with Andy before he left the next day. Tricia and Zsuzsa were also there. Basically we just chilled, watched football, and ate tacos. Good time had by all.

Thanks Andy, Grachie, Tricia, Meredy, Fritz, Zsuzsa, Steph, and LB for helping my have a wonderful Birthday!!! I love you guys!

39 and now seriously push'n 40

yesterday was my birthday. my 39th birthday to be exact. i can't hardly believe it let alone say it out loud. i had a great day, an awesome day to be honest. my good friend willy crack corn called me just as i was getting ready to catch the morning train. that was a song wasn't it? anyway, he called and wished me a very happy birthday, we chatted for a few minutes and said goodbye. when i got to work the phone and email were blowin' up with calls and wishes. which always makes me feel nice. my assistant brought me in a pumpkin cheesecake that was very tasty and gave me a card with a gift cert. for itunes which was also great. love my assistant, she totally rocks by the way. well wishers were stopping by all day long. then some work friends took me out for lunch and we had sushi, another of my favorites. then grachie called me and said she wanted to take me out for dinner, and tricia and zsuzsa wanted to go with us. we went to mexico city and had taco's and i had way too many marguerita's. i was ok but hurtin' a little this morning and today. so overall i had a great day, can't complain in the least. the problem lies with being 39 and not feeling it, or at least thinking i don't feel it. the years just keep ticking on by and it's a very strange feeling. i seriously feel as though i'm still 25 ready to conquer the world, but i'm not and it's just strange. the saving grace is that i'm told quite often that i don't look my age which is great that old saying black don't crack has been doing me wonders. and i guess i'll get over this issue about the #.

i think my issue really is seeded is that i'm not dating anyone and would like to be in some sort of relationship at this point in my life. i hate saying that but i really think it's true. i've been chatting very recently with a police officer lately and we'll see what comes of it. he's really hot by the way and i can't wait to meet him in person. maybe this weekend if we can get it together. i guess i just thought i'd be at a different stage in my life at this point and now i'm trying to get my pity party invites in the mail. i konw it will come when it's supposed to, i just it would hurry the fuck up an be the right time. and i think i'm still going to work on the doggy day care crush. if we can ever hook it up it might be good for both of us. between his crazy schedule and my schedule i don't know which is worse. we'll figure it out though, i have faith that 39 is going to be a good year for me on all levels. i'm going to give my best shot and see what happens.

trainspotting

I’m on the train this morning reading the new TV Guide in its new large size form. You’ve got to love a little gossip rag once in awhile. I actually love them all the time. It’s nice to flip through the pages and see what’s going on in Hollywood. It also passes the time. So if I don’t have anything to do on my computer work wise or I’m waiting on my new set of Netflix to show up, I catch up on all the Hollywood haps. Okay so back to the train. Now I love taking the train to work aside from getting up at such an ungodly hour it’s not bad. The one thing about the train however is that some people don’t realize they are sharing this mode of transportation with a lot of other people. Thank God for Ipods. There are a few regulars who absolutely kill me. What part of take it down a notch don’t they get. I’ve told the guys I work with who ride with me that one of these days I’m just going to go off, in a way that only those that know me closely can understand. Will it be in the way that I asked the woman behind me at the movies who was filing her nails as the movie was starting if she was going to do that to all ten fingers? Although she gave me a look to say “oh no you didn’t” she quickly put that file back in her purse. There are some days you just don’t want to fuck with me. I’m a Scorpio, and in the truest sense. I will give you as much rope as you need, but when I’m done, I’m done. If you happen to be on the other end of that rope when I decide to pull it in, you’d better be ready. So as not to cause a scene on the train I’ve just decided turn the volume up so I can enjoy my music and tune out the loud talkers. I will say however that sometimes that doesn’t even work. There are a few on this train that can still penetrate my ears even when I’ve got PYT (that’s my jam!) at 10. They will soon know that I’m not as sweet, quiet or as innocent as they thought.

Side bar. I’m writing this on the train right now and I believe someone has farted. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me with this! Take your lazy ass downstairs to the restroom and let that shit out, literally. Okay the air is back to normal now.

On with the story. So the whole thing that triggered this entry this morning is that while I was enjoying my new TV Guide the woman sitting behind me got up and approached me. I could see her out of the corner of my eye as she leaned in. She was very nice looking woman in her late 40’s dressed nicely and she just had a nice demeanor about her. I pulled the earplugs out of my ears so I could hear what she was saying. In a very sweet tone she told me that she was going to be making a brief cell phone call and wanted to know if I would be bothered by this. I thanked her but let her know that I was listening to music (Anita Baker by the way) and that I would not hear her anyway. How sweet was that? Just when you think people only care about themselves someone throws a wrench into the mix. It put a smile on my face. Thanks to the nice woman behind me who had the decency to ask if it was alright to use her cell phone on the train. I just didn’t have the heart to tell her that when I listen to Anita, ain’t nothing gettin’ through other than her amazing voice.

quick weekend recap

i don't know what it is lately, i simply don't have the party in me. came home from work on friday and basically chilled the entire night. cooked dinner or maybe it was just cheese and crackers, had a beer and watched some television. saturday was pretty much the same thing. i tried my hardest to motivate myself into going out for the evening but to no avail. i even received phone calls from friends and ended up talking them into staying home. between traffic and trying to find a parking spot in west hollywood when you know every queen within a 50 mile radius was going to be out, i just couldn't bring myself to do it. so once again i stayed home alone and watched television. no wonder i'm single and haven't met anyone yet. get off your ass jerky and meet someone already. there's always next week.

sunday turned out to be a very nice day. got up early and cleaned the house a bit. took max to the dog park in silverlake. met a really hot guy who had a female boxer named "roxy" but unfortunately he was wearing a wedding ring. damn i hate when that happens. so i let max play and play until he finally tuckered himself out. headed home and chilled with max for awhile. then off to the tonglisle's for dinner. made a quick stop at ralph's for wine, flowers, and something sweet for desert. let me just say that in case you haven't heard, haagen daz now has creme brulee ice cream. oh yeah they do. if creme brulee could be a song it would definitely be "my jam" (see previous post). so i gather up my groceries, head to the checkstand and of course i don't have my little club card with me. i hate carrying those things, and i don't like the little ones on my key chain so i usually just give them my phone #. well for some reason it's not taking my phone #, i don't know. anyway the woman at the checkstand keeps asking for the card. i explain that i don't have it on me etc etc etc. so usually they just take a card and swipe it. not her, she rings up everything and then proceeds to tell me that if i had my card i would've saved $6. thanks bitch! just pissed. i hate simple minded people.

so i show up at the tonglisle's and jt is in the kitchen putting the final touches on our dinner. i give her the flowers which she separates into two vases. we chat and pour a couple glasses of wine while we wait for ducats to get home. ducats is across the street working out at gold's and has promised to be home by 6:15. when he gets home he takes a quick shower and joins us in the kitchen. jt fixes our plates and we sit down to eat. jt has made what she calls braised beef, with potatoes, carrots, and celery, slow cooked in the ALL CLAD crock pot. I calls it pot roast but whatever you want to call it, it was slammin'! it was so good ducats and i had two big plates full. she also made polenta which was just as slammin'! the meal was awesome. i love when jt cooks 'cause she really gets into it. we topped it off with desert. ducats made a sundae with vanilla, nuts and bananas. i had the creme brulee, and jt had vanilla with chocolate syrup. we were all stuffed at this point. we settled into the living room to finish watching the late football game between the bills and patriots. i swear, that tom brady is one fine boy. after the patriots won by some very piss poor calls by the ref we switched over to the last half of napolean dynamite. just in time to see "the skit." so classic. i finally see why everyone went so gaga over this indie film. the shit is ridiculous.

what's goin' on?

whew, what a week. and with that i've been neglecting my blog which is disappointing to say the least. work has been crazy. don't get me wrong, i love what i do but this is crunch time and there are a lot of things that need to get done and there are not enough hours in the day to complete them.

in a nutshell these are the past weeks haps!
- we won our softball game last wednesday.
- friday night went to tony and damon's for an amazing spaghetti dinner avec wine. was home and in bed by 10pm.
- saturday night went to meredy's and had dinner with her and tricia. we drank wine and danced around the house to old 80's and 90's favorites, taking turns as dj with the ipod.
- sunday was a day of watching movies on the couch. best day of the week.
- this week i've just been swamped with work so i've been pretty low key.
- lost our softball game this week. actually got our asses handed to us. we f'n suck.
- it's friday and i'm dead tired so i don't know if i'll even be able to party tonight, although i could sure use a jack and coke. damn that sounds good.

on a lighter note, the following was sent to me by a dear friend. this is some funny ass shit. it's a little grainy and cuts in and out a little but it is well worth it.



peace out!

love me some netflix

now that i commute to work by train i decided to give netflix a try. let me just say that i love me some netflix. not only can you choose from a huge library but it is so convenient and quick. i can usually watch a movie a day, half on the way to work, the other half on the way home. last night i started a new movie "Closer" with Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman, and Clive Owen. now i don't know if you will agree with me or not, and frankly i don't care, but Clive Owen has got to be one of the hottest men the acting world or any other world for that matter has ever seen. he is a truly a Hottie McHotster. and i guess what i love about him is that he is just so manly which lends to his sex appeal. he's also got beautiful hands and feet (sorry, it's a slight fetish for me). i've actually seen him in several movies and he's an outstanding actor. and i don't know what they were thinking but Clive definitely should have been the next 007. i had heard mixed reviews about Closer and although it was a little different, i did enjoy the film. i guess it also didn't hurt that Clive was one of the stars. Clive you can ring my bell any day of the week!

fun filled weekend!!!

The weekend was pretty fun filled if I do say so myself, and I do.

Friday - I had missed the train that morning so after trying to catch the train to no avail I ended up driving. And for those of you who know Southern California, the freeways are an absolute nightmare on Fridays. Luckily for me, I was able to carpool with one of my coworkers and we actually made it in an hour and a half rather than the three hours expected. Anyway after dropping him off at Union Station I headed to the pet store to pick up a few groceries for Max. I swear the pet store has become Whole Paycheck, or Costco for that matter. You know the old $100 dollar trick. I walked out of there and was dumbfounded that I had just spent $130 on pet supplies. Now I love my dog to death but damn. After getting home and unpacking my dog groceries I decided to call my buddy Fava to see if he wanted to go out. Of course he did so we met at the Abbey. The evening was going pretty well until I spotted one of my little crushes. You want to talk a about a tall drink of water. I'm 6'4" and he's about 6'9" which you don't come across very often. His name is Dave. Well I mentioned this to Fava who of course was intrigued. I donÂ’t think that he was attracted to Dave but he couldn't wait to chat him up. So I head over to bar to get us another round and Fava makes a B line over to Dave. I could see them through the mirror behind the bar. I get the drinks and head over to them. Fava introduces me to Dave and as soon as he opens his mouth I'm dumbfounded. How can a man this handsome have a voice like this. He sounded like Peter Brady when his voice was changing. I just wanted him to shushy. Don't say another word you just ruined it. And I don't know if I'd classify this as a cock block or not but it was in the neighborhood. IÂ’m keeping my mouth shut from now on. The rest of the evening was a bust. I love me some Abbey but I think we need to find a new spot.

Saturday - Grachie calls and wants to meet to do a little shopping. So I meet her in Hollywood at a shoe store sheÂ’s in love with. Of course I canÂ’t find a damn thing. I decided to head down to another store, and another, and another, each time calling Grachie to see how she is doing. For me it was one of those days when you want to spend a little money and find something new to wear for the evening but can't find a damn thing. When you don't have any money you can find everything you need. We end up meeting at a little restaurant on 3rd called Dough Boys. OMG was it good. I ordered a Caprese sandwich and a bowl of clam chowder. The bowl of chowder was enormous. It came in a serving bowl that could have fed four people easily. I kept telling Grachie that I didn't feel as if I was denting the bowl, there was so much chowder. I loved it but I had to give up. We then headed over to the Beverly Center to see if we could find anything there. I struck gold. I ended up finding two pairs of jeans, a really cool shirt and a pair of boots.

Saturnight - I headed over to Tricia's to pick her up and bring her to her birthday party in Beverly Hills. So I'm dressed in my new jeans and shirt avec boots and am thinking I look pretty nice this evening. I had even mentioned to Grachie earlier that if couldn't find a man in this outfit I would never catch one. I pick up Tricia and she pays me a really nice compliment about what I have on. Again I mention that if I can't find a man tonight, I'm giving up. So we drive to the party and park. As we are coming out of the parking structure we run into two brotha's. One of them comments to me, "man, you gots you some style!" He mumbles on about this and that but basically paid me a really nice compliment. I thank him and Tricia's rolling at this point. We go into the bar "Backstage Pass" and I belly up to the bar to get a few drinks. As I'm standing there the bar manager is making up some concoction for someone and ends up spattering a drink all over me and the new shirt. I just about died. The night was a blast though. We partied like rock stars and had some great laughs. All the fun was over though when it was time to leave and told that the parking garage closed at 12am, it was now like 2am. So I'm running around trying to figure out how I'm going to rescue the car. Grachie had done the same thing abut was able to find us a way in. She ended up moving the cones and we were able to drive the cars out. I swear, what would I do if I didn't have my Grachie?

Sunday - I had invited 11 people over for Tricia's birthday dinner. We had a good crowd. Tricia was a little hung but she was able to pull it out. I think everyone was most excited for the dinner which consisted of my famous fried chicken, collard greens, mac and cheese, and cornbread. We had plenty of wine and great conversation. The only sad part was that I had invited my doggy day care owner crush and he evidently forgot about it. He works very hard and rarely gets any time off so I do believe him although I was a little dissapointed never the less. He left a msg the next day to apologize and beg for forgiveness. Although I haven't spoken to him yet he is definitely forgiven. He's too damn cute not to forgive. And I want another chance to woo him again with my cooking. I swear I'm a freak. It probably was a good thing though because Fava didn't get a chance to cock block me this time. Everyone was gone by about 9:30 and I was passed out by 10. And I look at it this way, there's always next evening!

bring on the firemen

I play on my company’s softball team and surprisingly we pulled out another win on Wednesday night. The team is fun but when it comes down to it we suck. You’d think that working for an athletic company you would be able to find a few athletes who can play softball. It’s not a hard sport, and the fundamentals are pretty easy. Our problem lays with many a team I’ve played for in the past, its coed. Now don’t get me wrong, I love women, but when it comes to softball they need to be half way decent. But the trouble doesn’t start there; we’ve got a few guys on the team who have a few issues. Can you say “field the ball?” And aside from that we rarely have an even number of men and women which ends up hurting us. In the league we play in we play with 10 players, five men and five women. However we are usually short one guy because they don’t show up. So we end up with less hitting power and a whole in the field. And because of the crazy rules in the league we play in, we can only have one more female player than the number of guys in the field. So if we’re short a guy we have to field 5 and 4 rather than the 5 and 5.

My friends especially the gay ones always tease me about playing sports, I guess they think I’m trying to act straight or something. I’ve played sports my entire life and am not bad. If I do say do myself. I made an unassisted triple play last week, and it just so happened that the company President was at our game. He had already spread the news before I got into work the next day. When you’re gay and you know everyone already knows it but aren’t quite sure, it doesn’t hurt to be a little athletic, especially in my line of work. The old boy’s network is alive and kicking. I enjoy playing and it’s a good way to feel like I’m part of the team. Can you say promotion? I also enjoy playing volleyball, tennis, and football. Oh, and the best part of the game was that a girl on the other team that was being a little cocky got a little too excited and tripped over first base and broke her ankle. So of course the EMT and Firemen had to come to the rescue. Let’s just say it’s always a good day when you get to see a handsome fireman.

weekend update....

well, let's see what happened over the weekend.

friday night i came home from work, fed max, and then headed over to grachie's to do laundry and watch a movie. so i thought. when i get over there grachie is entertaining an old male friend she hasn't seen in years. i put a load in the washing machine and then head to the store to fetch a little more wine and something to eat. when i returned we had a few glasses of wine and then headed off to The Cave to meet up with a friend of grachie's long lost friend. he was trying to set her up. so we all chatted and drank, and drank, and drank. when about 1:30am rolled around i was seriously whooped. i let the group know i had to go to bed, 5am during the week is an ass kicker. and gotta love The Cave, it's literally just blocks from my house which i love. reminded me of my days in Santa Monica and the Circle Bar.

saturday morning i get up and unpack a few more boxes. i tell ya i have more shit than i know what to do with. i checked emails, and then checked a dating site i'm listed on. i had a little msg waiting for me. i open the msg and all it says is "are you uncut?" not hello, you're kinda cute, i like your smile, i love bald men, just "are you uncut?" so after debating whether or not to respond i send a send a simple "sorry, no!" so i finish up around the house and head over to grachie's (she lives just a few minutes away) to finish the laundry i had started the night before. i proceed to tell her about the msg. her response was classic. "oh my god, i can't believe that, what a jerk, how dare he, it's ok you don't need him anyway!" we laugh about it and go on about the day. she's got errands to run and i need to finish the laundry as we have friends to meet in a few hours for cocktails.

i finish the laundry, head home to shower and change and head back over to pick up grachie. as we're in the car driving to The Standard downtown for drinks on the roof (great place to have a drink), we start chatting and somehow we're talking about the uncut email. grachie says to me, "so did he see a picture of your chest or something?" of course i bust out laughing like nobody's business. i had mentioned to her before that a lot of gay men are obsessed with body image etc so she assumed this is what he was referring to. when i explained that he was referring to my penis i thought she was going to die. the gasp that she made was out of this world. she proceeded to go off even more this time. i just laughed, it's all i could do.

we get to the roof and meet jt and ducats and a bunch of others sitting on sofa's in the roof top bar. it was such a beautiful day. we met some new folks and just chilled for about three hours or so. then the four of us headed down to Pete's Bar and Grill for some dinner. food was okay this time but the service was lacking. i don't know if it was the fact that we had been drinking so we were impatient or that the service was just bad. i definitely go back but i will certainly be cautious. after dinner we said our goodbye's and grachie and i headed to west hollywood to a bbq of some guy she met on craigslist. i was to be her wingman. everyone at the bbq was pretty nice except the craigslist guy. don't get me wrong, he was a nice guy, but didn't talk to grachie at all. tricia and her friend stephanie showed up at the bbq (we needed reinforcements) which was cool. mr. craigslist finally started chatting towards the end of the night but by that time i was done. we had left his house to go to a bar around the corned called Jones with whoever was left at the bbq. so tricia is chatting up this little tiny gymnast guy (tiny tumbler II) which is killing me because she's 6' tall. and craigslist is finally having a conversation with grachie. i'm drunk and tired and had to excuse myself. i headed back to the car and went to sleep. the girls showed up awhile later and grachie drove us home. we'll see about this craigslist guy, but the verdict is still out.

the best part of the night aside from getting to see jt and ducats (absolutely love them), party with grachie and tricia (dangerous these two), was getting to meet stephanie (new BFF). oh yeah, and there was a hottie at the bbq that left early. i think i may have to get grachie to work mr. craigslist for his number. mr. craigslist might be good for something after all.

that's my jam!!!!!

On the train today the “air guitar” guy was rockin’ out again as usual. Our eyes caught each other a few times and I just had to smile. It’s really funny to see someone who is really into their music but I know exactly how he feels. There are just those songs that just hit you in a way that you can’t control your actions. I’ve been a huge music fan for as long as I can remember. Watching the “air guitar” guy this morning reminded me of something I do. I am known by just about everyone I know for saying “that’s my jam!” They have all told me more than once that I can’t have that many jams, to which I’ve replied "oh but yes you can." So what constitutes a “jam” you ask? Well, if it gets me singing, snapping my fingers, and grooving to the beat, then that’s a “jam!”

Here are a few of my “jams”, you’ll see what I mean. If you don’t have these on your Ipod or in your Itunes, I suggest you get them pronto, you can thank me later.

• Cheryl Lynn – To be real – hands down probably my all time favorite song
• Janet Jackson – Pleasure Principle – nuff said
• Michael Jackson – P.Y.T. - although the Off the Wall album is his best ever, this song off of the Thriller album can’t be beat for me
• George Michael – Freedom 90 – don’t hate George is the shit
• Prince – I wanna be your lover – his first hit, and my favorite
• The Emotions – Best of my love
• Teena Marie – Square Biz – this tiny little white woman has got some serious soul
• KC and the Sunshine Band – Party – my favorite skating tune
• Sugar Hill Gang – Apache Rap – my favorite rap song
• Snoop Dogg w/Pharrell – Beautiful
• Armand Van Helden – You don’t even know me
• Jamiroquai – Canned Heat
• Aretha Franklin – Chain of Fools
• Prince – Housequake
• Bell Biv Devoe – Do Me
• The Commodores – Lady
• Culture Club – Time (Clock of the Heart)
• Daft Punk – One More Time
• Elton John – Honkey Cat
• The Whispers – And the Beat Goes On
• The Isley Brothers – That Lady
• Justin Timberlake – Rock Your Body
• Kajagoogoo – Too Shy
• Kool and the Gang – Get Down On It
• Lisa Lisa – Wonder if I Take You Home
• Madonna – Lucky Star
• Mariah Carey – Emotions
• Marvin Gaye – Ain’t That Peculiar
• Morris Day and the Time – Get it Up
• Prince – Lady Cab Driver
• Run DMC – It’s Like That
• Salt-N-Pepa – Express Yourself
• Seal – Crazy
• Soul II Soul – Back to Life
• Tom Tom Club – Genius of Love

So the next time "your song" comes on don’t be afraid to scream out “THAT’S MY JAM!”

come and ride the train.....and ride it

ahhhh.....public transportation, ya gotta love it. i was someone who rode the bus to school for years and then at 16 i got my drivers license and i promised myself that i would no longer need public transportation, or at least take it only under special circumstances. maybe while out of town in another city say like NYC for example, i love taking the subway in new York. i think my main issue was the bus. it was always a pain in the ass. so now i'm commuting to work from LA to Irvine via the subway and train on a daily basis and i have to say it's actually not that bad. if you've ever driven in LA you know what i'm talking about. crazy traffic at all hours, but morning and evening rush hour is the worst. now i'm someone who loves to drive. i'm one of those people who loves to have his own car at his disposal at all times. but i'm starting to feel ok about relying on the system to get me from point A to point B.

with all that being said, the best and worst part about riding the train is the people who ride along with you. there are a few that really stand out that i think need mentioning. now just like any public place you have to deal with people that just don't quite know how to respect others in close proximity. there is one woman in particular who falls into this category. she's an extremely loud talker, even with my ipod on i can hear her over my music. i'm about to give her the "shhhhhhh!" even the people she's talking with are annoyed with her volume. we all just cringe when she gets on the train. then there is my favorite guy, we'll call him "air guitar." he listens to his ipod so loud that you can hear his music from his earphones. then he gets to dancin' and it's all over. he starts twitching and playing his fingers like he's working a Gibson or something. we also have the musical student who proceeds to do her rifts, and let me just say, she ain't to mariah, christina, or alicia. nuff said. then we have to coworker club. this is the gang of coworkers who are very boisterous and just plain old loud. take it down a notch folks, i don't care what you had for dinner. oh, and then there's shequita (don't know her real name but it works for me). now everybody loves them a loud sista. this is her. just chattin' everyone up like crazy. she's actually really nice but just ghetto. one thing she does that kind of reminds me of Atlanta is when you get of the shuttle bus she gives you the ol' "have a blessed day!" i just love it! and last but not least, the customer service trio. all short and a little too large for the clothes they wear. and can you say cankles? they come in 3 shades, black, white, and asian. the black one is very hairy. she wears these little tee shirts, and her back is always showing so all you can see is hair. the white one is going for the punk look, and has crazy piercings in her lips, and eyebrows, and then these big tusk type earrings sticking out of her ears. the asian one wears sweatpants that she pulls the ankle band up to around her knees. it's just not a good look. i'm not sayin' i'm just sayin'!

aside from the excellent people watching the train is pretty comfortable. it has wi-fi, electrical outlets, and is very low stress. with the price of gas right now, the train is considerably cheaper than driving at this point. those that know me know i'm just being me. very observant and always have something to say!

weekend recap

so my weekend went something a little like this.


friday - had dinner with grachie, jt, and ducats at a really cool latin restaurant in downtown LA called Ciudad. the food was very tasty and so were the margaritas. great conversation and much laughter. then home to bed to prepare for the big move.

saturday - got up early about 5:30 (can't sleep in anymore), and tried to get some things organized for the move. went to pick up the truck and then headed over to grachie's so she could help me pick out a couple of guys at home depot for moving purposes. this was funny but a little uncomfortable. as we pull into the parking lot we are swarmed with guys waving and smiling to "pick me, pick me.!" you would've thought we the bouncers at some swanky club and people were trying to get through the velvet rope. so grachie stands up on the truck and points to two guys she thinks are up for the task, jose and cesar. they run to the back of the truck, i open the door and shut it behind them. i'm totally freaking out at the point because i know i'm breaking so many laws at this point point but i have to move. so the move goes pretty smoothly, and the guys are busting their butts to get finished. after we're completely finished grachie and sonj run over the store for beverages. they bring back a bunch of water, sodas and a 6 pk of corona. cesar of course wants a beer and proceed to chug that one and about 3 more in no time flat. in all my years i don't know if i've seen anyone drink one beer let alone 4 beers as quikly as this guy did.

saturday night - so after getting things somewhat unpacked, bed put together and kitchen in some sort of working order, grachie and i decide to head over to the Cave for a drink. of course i've not eaten a thing all day and the jack and cokes are just flowing. we run into an old aquaintance and his mate. both aussie guys, both cute, both straight and one is attached. grachie is kind of checking out the single one and we're having a good time chatting. we decide to head to another local spot and on the way we discuss this possible attraction for grachie. i tell her he's cute and all but we both are questioning the pegged jeans he's wearing. i make some comment about maybe he knows something we don't because he travels so much (something to do with bands), and we both just laugh. it's all about dibs with conditions. so we head to the other bar, have a drink and then it's time for timber to eat. we hit mcdonald's and head back to my new place. we ate that food so quickly it didn't have time to get cold. grachie ended up spending the night because driving was not an option at this time.

sunday - worked on the house a little more and and gave max a bath. then went over to grachie's for dinner. she made some incredible fish taco's and we seriously grubbed out.

for those of you who promised to come to LA for a visit, bring it on! I have plenty of room. and since i also hinted about train stories, that will have to be in the next segment. have a great day and keep reachin' for the stars!

not what i expected....and dim sum

having just moved back to l.a. after being in atlanta for the past two years my first concern was were was i going to live. my job is in the o.c. but after looking like crazy i couldn't find anything that suited me in the o.c. it just wasn't my cup of tea. and what is the gay scene like? do they have a gay scene? not that i go out every night, but when i do want to kick up my heels, irvine is not going to be first on my list.

after looking and looking i decided on a loft in up and coming downtown los angeles (up and coming in about 10 years). i was extremely excited because i could still see my l.a. friends during the week and commute by train and not have to deal with traffic on the fwy. i had it all planned out. i get my place and even though it's not completely finished (renovated historical bldg), i figure i can deal with it for a short time until they get it completed. boy was i wrong. first i was promised a dog run, which was one of the main reasons i move into the bldg. max does not like to do his business on the street, let alone in front of skid row. so that was the first thing, no dog run, and no clue when it would finished. we were supposed to have valet parking that was included, another perk about living downtown. no idea when this will take place. next is just the overall cleanliness of the bldg. we've got huge rats running around in our garage. if you renovate a bldg, you need to clean it from top to bottom when you are finished so get rid of the dust and dirty walls and floors. breathing all this dust have given me the biggest bats in the cave that i've become afraid to blow my own nose sometimes for fear of what's in there. then you have the street theatre (quickly coined by a guy that i'm friends with at work) which is out of control. between the gun shots, police sirens, vomiting on the street, human feces on the street (i know this is gross but i see this daily), people shooting up at 6am, my next door neighbor playing his music all night long that sounds like it only has one beat, and just plain old noise at all hours, which led me to reevaluate my living situation.

so i've decided i've had enough and i'm moving once again on saturday. i'm even more excited about my new place but i won't mention it until i get in and really see what's going on. the good thing is i still get to take the train to work, which aside from getting up at the crack of dawns ass, i do enjoy. now i love to drive, and always have, but it is so nice to leave the driving to someone else. isn't that an airplane commercial from way back when? so with this move comes repacking all my crap that i just unpacked and get everything ready to go for saturday. and it just kills me at how once again i've accumulated so much crap again after promising myself i'd keep it light. oh well, it's just stuff, my stuff, and as soon as i can do it, i'm going to get rid of what is not needed or wanted for like the hundredth time. i just pray that the move goes smoothly. my direct tv is all set up for the move as is my electricity. it's so easy these days to just go online and update your info and poof, your electricity follows you to your new home. so i'm sure i'll have more to say before this move is over but until then, it's late (10pm) and i have to get up at 5am to start my day all over again.

we'll talk about the train tomorrow. the cast of characters is out of this world.

politics as usual...it's all about accountability

i'm someone who loves politics. to be honest, if i had to do it over again i think i would have majored in political science. i don't know if it was the way i was raised in liberal portland, oregon or what, but i really enjoy politics, or at least i thought i did. the last few days, or for weeks for that matter have been very interesting in the political scene. this whole hurricane debacle has really got me a little fired up. mr. brown is actually trying to cop an attitude now that his credentials and handling of the situation are being questioned. what the hell? dude you f'ed up and now it's time to pay the piper. once again someone was placed into a position that they were no more qualified for than the current president himself. many mistakes were made and people need to just fess up and admit the fact that "i didn't know what the hell i was doing!"

i actually know someone who works for FEMA and he's told me that the whole thing is an absolute joke. "if you only knew what we're up against" is something he's said to me several times. people from florida are still waiting to be paid from the hurricanes that hit them last year. but i'm sure you've not heard anything about this. it's all a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit. and the president is fully aware of what is going on, don't let the dub fool ya. mr. brown, your ass needs to take a clue and just take your lashing. it will all be ok in a few years. you'll write a best selling book about your side and everyone will feel sorry for you and give you your props. but as of today, you need to just bend over and take it like a man. you can even go out and choose the switch from the big tree in your yard. but i promise you, right now you are going about it all wrong. lashing out the way you are doing is not going to do you any good but get your ass thrown under the bus and but quick. you are the fall guy and you need to realize that. i'm not saying that you aren't a complete idiot and the way you handled the situation was totally irresponsible, but now you have to live with your unsatisfactory performance and it's only going to get worse before it gets better.

which brings me to politics as usual in the workplace. i've just started a new job and love it dearly. i'm one of those people who really enjoys what i do for a living. so it amazes me that people don't take their jobs as serious as i do. i'll tell you right now, if i screw something up i'll be the first one to let you know that i made a mistake. but then i move on and hopefully learn from my mistake and pray that it doesn't happen again. at least that's what i'd like to happen. so i'm sitting in a meeting today with my immediate coworkers to discuss the progress of my WIP (work in progress), only to be given that look that i just can't stand to save my life, that look up to the ceiling as if the answers to my questions are going to fall out the sky and give me the answers i need. accountability folks, that's all i ask. i swear i won't curse, beat you, call you names, stone you, or shun you, i just want an answer to the question currently on the table. the same answer i was looking for last week and the week before. that look sends me through the roof like you don't even know. things have been all sweet and jolly, but you don't want me to flip my crazy switch, you just don't. how hard is it for you to show up to the meeting that is scheduled at the same time every week with the same adgenda, "to answer my questions!"

so i sit there glaring at you and wondering what part of my question you didn't quite understand, or didn't hear, or...hell you heard me as clear as day. but i'm telling you now, we can be great coworkers or we can be enemies, it's up to you, but i'll tell you and everyone who knows me will tell you, it's easier to be in with me than vice versa. i'm not sayin' i'm just sayin'! get your flipping act together and come prepared. your messing up the rotation, puff puff pass already. take ownership in your job and support your coworkers. we're all on the same TEAM, let's try to act like it. being thrown under the bus is not fun.....don't make me go there! when i ask you a direct question, please give me a direct answer. this whole deer in the head lights is not cutting the mustard.

where do i begin?

so really, where do i begin? to be honest, this whole blog thing is pretty new to me. i stumbled upon it several months ago and was intrigued, excited, and amazed at what i found and was reading in the world of blog. just think, this is my blog, a place to speak my mind, share my thoughts, share my life, or just say a bunch of nothing. i have been pondering the notion of starting my own blog for several months now and finally just decided that if i'm going to do this i need to just put my fingers on the keyboard and see what happens. hopefully my style or flow doesn't drive you nuts, but then again, it's my blog.

i have several friends that blog and the thing that amazes me the most about what they write about is their honesty. in the world of blog it seems people share things that they may or may not share with their closest friends but are willing to print it for the world to read on their blog. i really think i'm going to enjoy this form of expression. then again i enjoy many forms of expression. i think the thing i'm most excited about is finally being able to just let it all out. i've got a lot to say (as most of my friends already know), and i'm not afraid to say it!